Why Is My Ex Checking Up On Me? (11 Reasons Why)

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Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

Do you ever get the feeling your ex is checking up on you? Perhaps you’ve seen them “liking” your photos on social media, or you’ve spotted them in a place you frequent.

It can be confusing and frustrating when your ex seems to be keeping tabs on you, especially if you’re not sure why they’re doing it. But there are a few possible explanations for their behavior. Here are 11 reasons why your ex might be checking up on you.

Why Is My Ex Checking Up On Me?


1. They’re Not Over You

You thought things were over long ago, only to find out that your ex has been keeping tabs on you. If your ex is still interested in you, they might check on you to see what you’re up to and who you’re seeing.

If your ex contacts you frequently or “likes” all your social media posts, they might be hoping to get your attention and rekindle your relationship.

This can be dangerous ground, as you don’t want to give your ex false hope that you’ll get back together. If you’re not interested in getting back together, make it clear to your ex that you moved on a long time ago.

If you get advances from your ex, it might be best to cut off all communication with them until they realize you’re serious about moving on.

2. Make You Jealous

By constantly checking up on you and asking about your love life, your ex could be trying to make you jealous. It’s a cruel way to get attention, but some people do it anyway.

If you think your ex is checking up on you, ignore them. You don’t have to give them the satisfaction of knowing their behavior affects you.

If anything, this is more evidence of why you’re not together anymore. The last thing you need in your life is someone who deliberately tries to make you feel bad.

3. They Miss You

It’s possible that your ex is checking up on you because they miss you and want to reconnect. If you had a good relationship, it’s only natural to want to stay in touch with your ex after breaking up.

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But if your ex is checking up on you too often or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, it might be best to distance yourself from them. You don’t want to get back together if they can’t give you the space you need.

If your ex still can’t take a hint and continues to check up on you, it might be time to block them on social media or change your phone number.

Do whatever it takes to ensure they can’t contact you anymore if you don’t want to hear from them.

4. They’re Nosey

Let’s face it; some people are just nosy by nature. If your ex always asked you personal questions when you were together, they might not have changed their ways just because you’re not together anymore.

They might be curious about who you’re seeing or what you’re up to, and they think checking up on you is the best way to find out.

If your ex is being nosy, there’s not much you can do about it except to cut off communication with them. You don’t owe them any explanations about your personal life, so don’t feel like you have to give them any.

If your ex isn’t causing any harm or maliciously doing anything with the information they learn—and you don’t mind them being nosey—it might be best to ignore it.

5. They Want To Be Friends

If your ex is interested in staying friends, they might check up on you to see how you’re doing. This is especially true if you have mutual friends or still see each other in social settings.

If your ex is checking up on you to see how you’re doing, it might signify that they want to be friends. If this is something you’re open to, there’s no harm in responding to their attempts at communication.

But if you’re not interested in being friends with your ex, it’s best to make that clear from the beginning.

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There’s no point in leading them on or stringing them along if you’re going to end up hurting them in the end.

Many former couples can stay friends after breaking up, but it’s not for everyone. If you don’t think you can be friends with your ex, it’s best to move on.

6. They’re Stalking You

They’re Stalking You

Sometimes, your ex might be checking up on you because they’re stalking you. This is usually only the case if your ex is exhibiting other obsessive behaviors, such as constantly appearing at your house or calling you.

If you think your ex is stalking you, it’s best to get a restraining order. This will legally prohibit them from coming within a certain distance of you or contacting you in any way.

It’s also a good idea to change your phone number and social media accounts so they can’t contact you. If you have to see them in person, bring someone with you for protection.

7. Anger Issues

If your ex has anger issues, they might check up on you as a way to release their pent-up frustrations. This is especially true if they’re trying to get a rise out of you or make you feel bad.

If your ex is checking up on you to make you angry, it’s best to ignore them. They’re not worth your time or energy, and they’re not going to change their ways just because you talk to them.

It’s also good to block them on social media and change your phone number so they can’t contact you. If they continue to try to talk to you, it might be best to get a restraining order.

8. They Want To Hook Up

In some cases, your ex might just be checking up on you to see if there’s a chance they can hook up with you.

If you’ve hooked up with your ex in the past, they might think it’s something you’re both interested in doing again.

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If you’re not interested in hooking up with your ex, it’s best to make that clear from the beginning. There’s no point in leading them on or giving them false hope if you’re just going to reject them.

Keep in mind that casual hookups can lead to sour grapes in the end—or worse. It might sound like fun at first, but the baggage and emotions that usually come with a casual hookup aren’t worth a night of fun.

9. Are You Dating Again?

Some exes just want to see if you’re dating. That way, your ex can see who you’re with now, how they compare, and so on.

Sometimes, this is perfectly harmless. But in other cases, it might signal that your ex is still hung up on you.

10. They’re Insecure

Your ex might be checking up on you because they’re insecure. This is usually only the case if they’re constantly asking you questions or trying to start arguments with you.

If your ex is insecure, it’s best to ignore them. There’s no point in trying to reason with your ex or make them feel better because you will not change their ways.

11. Guilt Complex

Sometimes, your ex might check up on you because they have a guilt complex. This is usually only the case if they feel guilty about how they treated you or what they did to end the relationship.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why he texted you after 2 weeks, why you attract guys with low self-esteem, and why your husband seeks female attention.

Conclusion

There are several reasons why your ex might be checking up on you. In most cases, it’s best just to ignore them and move on with your life.

However, if their behavior is becoming obsessive or harassing, you might need to take more drastic measures.

Author

  • Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development, wellness, and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

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