Why Am I Obsessed With Him? (11 Reasons Why)

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Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

We all know that feeling when you just can’t get someone out of your head. No matter how hard you try, you are always thinking about him.

It may be an innocent crush or a more serious personality disorder. This article explores the possible reasons why you might be obsessed with him.

Why Am I Obsessed With Him?

1. He’s Unavailable

You may be obsessed with him first because you can’t have him. This can be for several reasons.

Maybe he’s already in a relationship, or he just doesn’t like you that way. Whatever the case, you can’t have him makes him all the more desirable.

Another reason why you may be obsessed with him is that he represents something that you want in your life. Maybe he’s successful, good-looking, or has a great personality.

You may be obsessed with him because he’s a challenge. On the other hand, maybe he’s not interested in you or difficult to get along with.

Whatever the case, the fact that he’s a challenge makes him all the more intriguing.

2. Just A Crush

Another possibility is that you have a crush on him. This is perfectly normal. You find them physically attractive, and you are interested in them romantically.

Every time you see him, your heart races, and you get butterflies in your stomach. These are signs of a crush.

You might daydream about what it would be like to date them or even kiss them. If you have a crush on someone, it’s natural to want to learn everything about them.

You might stalk their social media accounts or try to find out information about them from mutual friends.

If a crush is the reason for your obsession, it’s important to seek help if it’s negatively impacting your life.

3. Insecurity Or Low Self-Esteem

You may be obsessed because you are insecure. You might need his validation and approval to feel good about yourself.

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This can make it difficult to let him go, even if he isn’t good for you. As a result, you might be drawn to him and find it hard to resist his pull.

It’s also possible that you are addicted to the excitement and drama of the relationship, especially if he is a “bad boy” type who is always getting into trouble.

If you obsess over him, it’s important to try to understand why. Once you know the root of the problem, you can start to work on letting him go and moving on with your life.

4. Codependent

You may be obsessed with him because you are codependent.

Codependency is when someone is overly dependent on another person for their emotional needs, leading to an unhealthy, one-sided relationship and obsession.

If you are codependent on him, it is vital to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to develop a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

e aware of what you are lacking in your life and find healthy ways to fill those needs. You should not rely entirely on him to satisfy your needs because that is unfair to either of you.

It is also possible that you are attracted to him physically or emotionally. But, again, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

5. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

There are several reasons why you might be obsessed with him. One possibility is that you have OCD.

OCD can cause people to fixate on certain thoughts or ideas, leading to obsessions, which can be difficult to control.

If you think you might have OCD, it’s vital to seek professional help. OCD can be a very debilitating condition, but it is treatable.

6. Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD)

Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD)

Obsessive Love Disorder(OLD) is a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to possess and control a particular person.

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Symptoms of OLD include:

  • Extreme jealousy and possessiveness
  • Constant thoughts and preoccupation with the object of your obsession
  • Attempting to control the behavior of the person you are obsessed with
  • Making repeated attempts to contact the person you are obsessed with, even after they have made it clear that they do not want to be contacted
  • Going to extreme lengths to try to spend time with the person you are obsessed with or get them to pay attention to you
  • Threatening or harming yourself or the person you are obsessed with if they try to leave you

7. Attachment Disorder

If you obsess over everyone who shows interest in you, you might have an attachment disorder
and trouble forming attachments to others.

It’s also possible that you’re addicted to the drama of your relationship with him. If everything is always a rollercoaster ride, it can be hard to let go, even if it’s not healthy for you.

8. Fear of Abandonment

Relating to other attachment disorders, you may fear abandonment and get obsessed because you are afraid of being alone and being rejected by others.

When you are in a relationship with someone, you may feel like you are finally safe and secure. However, this can also lead to an unhealthy obsession and fears of abandonment.

If you fear abandonment, it is important to work on addressing this issue. Counseling or therapy can help deal with this fear.

9. Never Been Treated So Good

You may be obsessed because you have never been treated so well by someone. He always puts you first and makes sure you are happy.

He always goes out of his way to do things for you and make sure you are comfortable. You can’t imagine your life without him.

Understanding your own needs in a relationship can help you appreciate how you are treated and not become obsessed with someone. Recognizing this will help you have healthy relationships.

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10. Lack Healthy Boundaries

You probably don’t suffer from a personality or obsessive disorder. However, you may be obsessed with someone because you have never learned healthy boundaries.

This means that you are willing to let the other person into your life in a way that is not healthy for you.

You may be willing to give up your own time, space, and energy to be close to the other person, resulting in feelings of obsession and possessiveness.

If you do not have healthy boundaries, try to set some. For example, spend time alone so that you can learn to be comfortable by yourself.

11. You May Have Erotomania

If you’re obsessed with someone, it could be because you have a condition called erotomania, also known as de Clérambault’s Syndrome.

This disorder causes people to believe that someone they are attracted to is in love with them, even if there is no evidence to support this belief.

Erotomania can lead to stalking behavior and can be very distressing for the person with the disorder and their target.

If you think you might have erotomania, it’s vital to seek professional help so you can get the treatment you need.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why he unblocked you, why your ex randomly apologized, and why men are so complicated.


It’s most likely that your obsession is harmless and simply a case of being a little infatuated with your crush.

However, an obsession could be a sign of something much more serious. If your obsession negatively impacts your life, it’s time to seek professional help.


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