Why Are Women So Shallow? (11 Reasons Why)

Photo of author
Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

Have you ever seen the movie “Shallow Hal?” Jack Black’s character magically becomes less shallow, only seeing a woman’s inner beauty.

Men are often accused of being shallow, and sometimes they are. However, women have their own ways of being superficial, too. We will discuss 11 reasons women are so shallow.

Why Are Women So Shallow?

1. Biology And Evolution

There are several theories about why women are shallow when seeking a mate. Evolving human nature may have something to do with it.

Some scientists believe that women are more likely to select a mate with the best chance of raising healthy children and reproducing.

There are many reasons women seem shallow, including social conditioning, hormonal fluctuations, and interests.

According to current science, looking for a suitable mate can be seen as the product of natural selection.

In humans, the women who choose mates who provide them with more resources can support their children better. But unfortunately, this can make them seem shallow.

2. Seeking Stability

Women are perceived as shallow regarding financial stability because they want someone who will provide safety and financially stable life.

They want to raise a family and provide for their children with a partner who can give their family home and a good life.

Because women are looking for a guy who’s not broke, they seem more shallow. Wealth and income provide stability, and mothers and fathers want stability for their families.

Seeking money alone without loving a man’s personality – that’s shallow. Wanting financial security and a stable home for kids – that’s what a mother does and is not shallow.

Women who seek the stability that a high-earner can provide will seem to be shallow to men who don’t earn enough to meet their standards.

3. Mature Communication

A woman might seem shallow because she is more emotionally mature and looking for the same in a partner.

Emotionally developed women look for men who meet them at their level. Women who reject immature men are seen as shallow.

Read More:  Why Don’t The Rich Help The Poor? (11 Reasons Why)

Mature women know that emotional maturity leads to better communication in a relationship. In addition, mature communication produces better conflict resolution results.

If she cannot communicate with a man at a mature level, she will likely reject him and seem shallow.

Mature relationships tend to last longer, and when a breakup does occur, it’s more amicable than immature relationships.

Women who focus on maturity in their relationships over all else will come across as more shallow.

4. Self-Reflective And Self-Aware

Women have a more remarkable ability to recognize their own flaws and shortcomings, and their self-awareness makes them seem shallow.

In reality, a self-aware woman knows her needs and how to meet them. Therefore, she will not tolerate any less.

Knowing what she wants in life, a self-reflective woman understands specifically what she is looking for in a man.

Self-aware women seem shallow because they don’t settle on just anyone. Instead, they are picky and looking for the right person to come into their life.

Women who are self-aware are strong and independent. They know their inner workings and are much better at addressing their issues.

5. Friends’ Influence

Women are attentive to what their closest friends say. Therefore, their friends’ thoughts and opinions often influence women, which can appear shallow.

Women are shallow when they are among friends. Sometimes, there is a bad influence in the friend group—someone who is negative.

The negativity of a shallow friend can influence a woman to behave the same way. But on the other hand, influential friends lead some women to be very shallow.

Women are often more shallow with their friends than they are alone. Groupthink takes over, and they only focus on the outer appearance of things.

Female friend groups can be judgmental towards people’s looks and appearance, including amongst themselves. However, this toxic behavior is also very shallow.

Read More:  Why Do Narcissists Ignore Texts? (9 Reasons Why)

6. Influence Of Family

Influence Of Family

Some of the reasons women are shallow include how they were socialized in their upbringing. A shallow family could produce a shallow child.

Women often want to impress the family with a handsome hunk or wealthy beau, but this looks pretty shallow.

Abuse and neglect in her past could cause a woman to tolerate abuse in her relationship because she is shallow and keeps up appearances.

Conversely, if a woman is raised in a supportive and nurturing family, she may seem shallow for not settling on less in a mate.

7. Learning What She Likes

Women learning about their wants and needs makes them seem shallow because they come across as picky.

As women realize what kind of life they want and what partner they desire, men might perceive them as shallow when turned down for a date.

Early in adulthood, a woman might be open to dating guys that, later in life, she might learn to reject because she has learned what she likes. This seems shallow.

8. High Standards

Women with high standards are shallow. Unfortunately, many women have been raised to have high standards for themselves and others.

They are looking for a very handsome partner or one that looks good all the time. But unfortunately, some women only focus on looks and nothing else. This is indeed a shallow characteristic.

Women who seek out only good-looking men with no regard for their personality or compatibility are truly shallow.

9. Low Self-Esteem

Women with low self-esteem can be very shallow. If insecure about herself, she will likely treat others poorly and act shallow.

Low self-esteem blinds women from pursuing relationships with someone they might be attracted to. This gives the appearance of being shallow.

A woman with low self-worth cannot see the good traits in herself and projects that outward. Therefore, judging others’ worth, she will be more shallow than a confident woman.

Read More:  Why Does My Girlfriend Call Me Daddy? (9 Reasons Why)

10. Seeking Chemistry

Women’s innate desire for deep connection can often seem shallow to some people she can’t connect with. Some women are seeking chemistry in their intimate relationships.

Women connect on a deeper emotional level. When the chemistry is not there, a woman might seem shallow. It’s not anyone’s fault and outside of anyone’s control.

Deeply emotional women can appear shallow because they are looking for a spark in their relationships and more than just casual friendship.

Women can’t help whom they fall for and having chemistry makes a big difference. Without the chemistry, a woman may seem like she’s shallow.

11. Personal Preferences

Women are shallow for complex reasons. What someone calls shallow might be personal preferences.

Some women are attracted to men with dark hair or like tall men. Whatever the case, women have personal preferences about whom they date.

Personal preference comes down to opinions. What one woman finds attractive or desirable, another may find repulsive.

Personal preferences are mistaken for shallowness. For example, a woman might prefer men who are athletic or in a specific profession. These are all seemingly shallow, but they are opinions.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why people have so many kids, why it is rude to ask a woman her age, and why people hate.


These 11 reasons explain why women are so shallow. In short, the answer is complicated and does not fit all women. Women are shallow for a variety of complex reasons.

Some women are not shallow; they just have a personal preference. However, just like men, women can be shallow too.


Leave a Comment