Why Is My Mom So Strict? (11 Reasons Why)

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Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

It’s tough being a kid these days but even tougher when you have a super strict mom. You may be wondering why your mom is so strict with you and why she can’t give you some freedom to do the things you want.

Understanding the reasons for your mom’s strict reign over your life can help you to find some common ground so you can have a healthier relationship; keep reading to discover why your mom may be so strict with you.

Why Is My Mom So Strict?

1. She’s Got High Hopes

Oftentimes when your mom is being strict it is simply because she loves you. She wants you to do well in life and has high hopes that you will be happy and successful in everything you do.

Sometimes when a mom has high expectations they can seem overbearing and strict because she doesn’t want to see you fail.

The expectations that your mother is placing upon you may also be her trying to make up for negative behaviors she displayed as a child to prevent you from acting the same way.

2. Fear Of A Bad Reflection

It is not uncommon for a mother to be fearful that her child’s mistakes will reflect poorly upon her as a parent.

She may be afraid of being judged by others if you act badly or perform below her expectations.

Some moms think that if their child doesn’t do well or makes a mistake she will look bad.

3. She Doesn’t Want A Brat

Your mom may be super strict with you for the simple reason she does not want you to act like a brat who has no manners.

Do you know those kids in the grocery store throwing a fit when they don’t get what they want? She doesn’t want you to behave in that manner.

She is trying to teach you to have respect and behave like a civilized human being when in public or around other people when they come to your home.

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4. Results Of A Religious Raising

If you are from a family with a strong religious background this may have something to do with your mom’s strict rule over your life. Most religions have a set of beliefs and rules to follow.

As a result, children are raised according to these rules which may seem strict or old-fashioned to younger more modern generations who are less disciplined.

If your mom has strong religious values she feels that it is her job to instill the same ideals and values in her children the way her parents did with her.

5. Monkey See Monkey Do

The simple fact of the matter may just be that your mom was raised by very strict parents. She may not know another way of parenting.

She is merely doing what she knows and thinks is best because that is what she had to learn from the example set by her own parents.

She may be aping her parent’s methods because she feels like she survived strict parenting and feels her own children should be treated the same way.

6. She Suffers From “What-If” Syndrome

She Suffers From “What-If” Syndrome

Your mom may be extra strict on you simply because she is worried about your well-being and physical safety. She is worried about the “what-ifs” which can cause her to be controlling.

With so many heartbreaking news stories involving children, it can cause a mom a lot of stress and anxiety when her children are concerned.

Your mom doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you; her unconditional love for you drives her to keep you safe the best way she knows how even if it feels like she’s smothering you.

7. Result Of Bad Behavior In The Past

Let’s face it, there is a pretty good chance that you may not have displayed the most angelic behaviors in the past.

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If your mom is super strict it may be a good idea to look in the mirror and see if her iron fist command is justified. Your mom may just be trying to keep you under control.

8. Lack Of Trust

Trust is a big thing in any relationship; once trust has been broken or lost it can be difficult to gain it back.

If you have done anything to lose your mom’s trust in the past this may be why she is so strict with you.

She may also not trust you because of things she did when she was younger and is afraid that you will repeat her bad behavior or mistakes.

9. Instilling Self-Discipline And Accountability

Your mom may be strict with you because she is trying to teach you self-discipline and to be accountable for your actions.

Being strict is not always a bad thing; it is good to have a routine and rules to follow because it helps you to function in the real world as an adult.

Having no routine or rules makes a child unmotivated and defiant, she is just trying to make sure you are prepared for life and can deal with what responsibilities are thrown your way.

10. Dad’s Too Laid Back

It is not uncommon for one parent to be more lenient than the other. It’s a classic case of good cop bad cop. Your mom says no to something so you know you can go to dad.

If your dad is the one you go to when you want something that is likely the reason your mom is so strict. She feels as though she has no control and is being undermined by her partner.

Your mom is trying to run a household and keep some order and control but it can be hard when dad allows you to do whatever you want.

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11. Parental Imbalance

Being a single parent comes with a lot of pressure, responsibility, and worry. If your mom is doing it all on her own she is likely stretched as far as she can go in every way possible.

Your mom is solely responsible for making sure that you are cared for and have everything you need at all times. She doesn’t get a break and has to play the role of both parents.

She is trying to raise a productive member of society and has a lot of rules because she is trying to do the best she can. She is afraid of letting you down and not giving you the world.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why you find your mother-in-law so annoying, why parents hate video games, and why parents are so entitled.

Knowing Why Mom Is Strict Helps to Resolve Issues

Parenting is a difficult job and most moms who are being strict with their children are acting out of love and concern for their lives.

A mother’s love is infinite and even though they may seem as though they are acting in an unfair or mean way there is usually a good reason.

With understanding and sometimes a little bit of outside help you and your mom will be able to repair the broken bonds between you and move forward with less stress and resistance.

Just remember that your mom is trying to do the best she can and means well even if she seems too strict. If things get too tough reach out to a friend or someone at school, sometimes it can help to get your feelings out in the open.


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