Why Do I Miss Him So Much? (11 Reasons Why)

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Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

You just recently broke up with your long-time partner, or maybe it has been a while. Either way, you still miss him and can’t seem to get him off your mind. But why do you miss him so much?

There are many reasons or a combination. Here are those reasons that can help you determine why you miss your ex-partner. Knowing the cause can help you move on from the relationship.

Why Do I Miss Him So Much?

1. You Are Not Used To Being Alone

Being in a relationship, especially when you’re in one for a long period of time, means you aren’t used to being alone. You’ve had an occupied home that you could come to.

Coming home to no one can be such a deafening silence that you never realized it until you two went your separate ways.

This is definitely true if you have been in a long-term relationship or have had relationships back to back. You may not know how to be single.

When you haven’t been single in a while, you probably miss not the person but the relationships themselves. You have to figure out if this is the case.

2. Things Are Reminding You Of Him

Sometimes you may be fine, not thinking of him at all, but then you see something that reminds you of him. It could have been a gift that he gave you, or it could be your favorite spot.

No matter what, these can all trigger the emotions you felt in the relationship. It is best to remove or avoid those things to reduce that feeling of “missing” him.

Find new memories in other places or get rid of items you and he shared. If you don’t want to get rid of them, at least put them away until you have moved on.

3. You Are Lonely

Loneliness can happen at any time, whether you are in a relationship or not. Being lonely is just something everyone goes through.

This loneliness can cause you to miss your ex and may even cause you to regret breaking up. But there is a reason you broke up.

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Feeling lonely isn’t a reason to enter a relationship. It is okay to be alone. You will not always be around someone.

The best way to combat this is to find those with similar interests like you and to start participating in those interests. Soon you won’t feel so lonely, and you can make new friends.

4. There Are Residual Feelings

You may have residual feelings for your ex. This is a natural process when you break up with someone you’ve been in a relationship with for a long time or had a deep connection with.

There is even the possibility that you will continue to have some sort of feeling for them. But residual feelings are normal.

These feelings aren’t a reason to go back into a relationship or to obsess over him. It is good to acknowledge these feelings and accept that they may remain, even just a little.

5. You Miss The High Of The Relationship

There are all sorts of relationships, some that even cause a sort of “high” like feeling. It makes you feel so good, and you want to feel that way again.

You may think you have never felt this way with anyone else. This is what the high feels like. Sometimes this high can be addicting.

But remember, it doesn’t always stay, and you may not feel that best “high” ever again. This addiction isn’t actually you missing him but missing that feeling.

It will be hard, but moving on is the best option for you and your mental health. It is unhealthy to be addicted to a relationship or a person.

6. It May Be A Trauma Bond

It May Be A Trauma Bond

It may be a trauma bond. Trauma bonds occur when you enter an unhealthy relationship. It is when someone abuses you and becomes attached to them because of the abuse.

It seems counterintuitive, but many strong, independent people find themselves in such a situation. This is because abusive people love to seek out those they can knock down a step.

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This unhealthy relationship occurs because the one being abused is seeking security and attachment. They think it will be filled through this person.

The abuser uses psychological and emotional abuse to deepen this need and make you seem like these are being fulfilled. But in the end, they will take it away again for control.

7. You Never Got Closure

You may not be missing him but need closure. If your breakup ended without you truly knowing why, you might need that answer to move on.

Your mind continues to return to why you two had to split. What did you do wrong? You want resolution and answers.

Don’t ever think you did something terribly wrong when your ex doesn’t tell you why you two broke up. Most of the time, it has something to do with him and not you.

Even if you search for the answer, it may not be the honest one, and it may not be what you want to hear. Sometimes no resolution is the only answer that you will have to accept.

8. You May Be Missing Yourself

Sometimes what you are actually missing isn’t him but yourself. You miss the person you were when you were in that relationship.

You can be happy without him, and you can find the person you miss. You just need to start finding things that don’t need a partner but what you really enjoy.

9. You Focus Only On The Good, Not The Bad

You might be focusing only on the good in the relationship. You remember all the good things he did for you or how he made you feel, but you aren’t remembering the bad.

It can be difficult to focus on the bad, especially when you are in an unhealthy relationship. Abuse can cause a “brain fog” that will make you forget those bad moments.

Be realistic. Think about what would really be happening if you returned to the relationship. Would it be the same as the beginning? Is it healthy?

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It’s okay to miss the good memories, but don’t ignore the bad. This will create a picture perfect scene in your mind that is just not true. It’s lying to yourself.

10. You Cannot Stop Cyberstalking

After a fresh break up, you may find yourself cyberstalking your ex. Everyone has been through that phase to see if he is with someone new or ensure that they’re just as distraught as you.

You constantly find yourself cyberstalking him which just brings up all those emotions and memories. It is best to get off his social media, and even block him if necessary.

It sucks to see your ex doing better, but remember, social media is not always real. There is always more to a picture perfect appearance.

11. You Are Just Going Through A Phase

Missing your ex is all part of the process. You will go through phases where you miss him like crazy and then next thing you know, you forgot all about him.

You won’t always be missing him. Yes, that phase will return, but the feelings will be less and won’t last as long as before. You will be moving on in no time.

Understand that this just happens and you will make it through. Figure out what can help you when you are feeling really low or the emotions are overwhelming.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why your ex wants to be friends, why you miss her so much, and why he unblocked you.


Missing him is normal after a break up. Just because you miss him doesn’t mean you should go back to him. There is a reason you two broke up.

Understand what may be causing these emotions and figure out what you need to do from there. You got this!


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