Why Do I Miss Her So Much? (11 Reasons Why)

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Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

Breakups can be devastating, and it is all too common for the people around you to comfort you with words of encouragement on how to move on. At the end of the day, moving on is much easier said than done.

It can be all too difficult to distract yourself from negative emotions felt from a breakup, even long after the fact. You likely ask yourself the same question every day: why do I miss her so much?

Why Do I Miss Her So Much?

1. You Need Closure

One of the main reasons people feel as though they miss their ex-significant other so much is that they did not get the closer they needed after the separation. There can be many unanswered questions after a breakup.

You may miss her because you wish you had just one more chance to talk things out. Even if you genuinely just want to talk and not convince her to get back together, one last conversation is not always possible.

Perhaps you are a bit confused as to why the relationship ended. You may need closure in knowing that something was not your fault, she lost feelings, or another reason you two are no longer together.

2. Your Relationship Ended Poorly

Maybe you did get closure with her, but it was not the type of last interaction you wish you had had together. It is easy to miss her if the relationship ended poorly.

Regardless of whose fault it is, a bad breakup can make things much worse. If you believe the ending could have gone better, it can make you miss her.

If the breakup was her fault, you may wish to show her how great you are doing now. If it was your fault, you might miss her because you wish you could have left a more positive impression in the end.

3. She Is With Someone Else

Even if she has been out of your life for a long time, jealousy seems to squeeze its way into people’s minds quite frequently. A common reason you miss her so much is that she is with someone else.

Especially if you personally know the person she is with now, seeing the two of them together can awaken a longing you believed to have been gone a while ago.

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Even if you do not know her new partner, you can still be upset that she is with someone new. Many people see their ex with another person and want to talk to their new significant other, even if only to say, “take care of her.”

4. You Are Not Fulfilled

Oftentimes, you may not realize that a reason why you miss someone so much is due to the fact that you are not fulfilled. It is easy to place the blame on the other person. It can be helpful to observe yourself.

You may miss her so much because you now feel that something is missing from your own life. Maybe you have been unsuccessful in meeting new people – or you simply have not tried.

Particularly if she appears happy in public or on social media, you may feel down if you are still processing the breakup. There is not a set time in which you should get over her. It may take longer than others.

5. You Question Why It Ended

Similar to needing closure, you may miss her more than you thought you would because you are still unsure of the reasoning behind the breakup. If she broke things off suddenly and out of the blue, you may be confused.

If you question why it ended, it can make you miss her. Allowing yourself to constantly ponder the events leading up to the breakup is not typically a healthy way to begin the healing process.

If you thought things could not have been going better, your partner breaking up with you can raise several questions. At the same time, not being able to discuss these problems can make you miss being around her.

6. Toxic Traits

Toxic Traits

Some people miss their exes so much because one or both of them possess toxic traits that make it difficult to stay away. Of course, these traits are not always brought to light, but they can affect the relationship.

She could have been dragging you along through manipulation. Relationships in which one person is manipulative can cause the other person to be drawn to them in an odd way.

Still, it is not always her fault. You may need to take responsibility as well. Maybe you were too clingy in the relationship. Extreme clinginess can lead to obsession, which is a dangerous reason for missing her so much.

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7. Familiarity With Her Presence

It does not matter if you two were together for 3 months or 3 years. After a while, the two of you will develop a familiarity with being around each other. When they become a part of your life, it becomes the new normal.

You may miss her so much because you are not used to her not being around anymore. If she was a large part of your life, it is difficult to simply forget your lasting experiences together.

Not waking up next to her, not watching TV with her, not going to bars with her, and not being with her 24/7 will make you miss her more than you realized was possible. This is a rather heartbreaking reason for missing her.

8. She Inspired You

Relationships in which partners feel inspired and motivated by one another can be wonderful. When a relationship that allows you to rely on your partner for productivity ends, you may not know what to do.

You may miss her so much because you feel that she was the reason you got up in the morning, the reason you were able to de-stress, and the reason you tried to better yourself each day.

When someone important enough to motivate you towards happiness is no longer in your life, it is perfectly normal to miss that person and think about them every day. Even in passing thoughts, you may struggle.

9. You Are Lonely

Loneliness does not always mean having no one around you – though, such a lifestyle could be a reason you think about her so much. You may feel lonely in the sense that you have accepted that she is gone.

You can still go out with your friends and might even have a new partner, but maybe you cannot help but think about her often. You can miss someone without actively trying to get them back.

It can hurt to realize that she may not think about you as much as you think about her. In fact, she might think about you a lot, too. It is best not to dwell on a worry like this, as there is nothing you can do about it.

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10. Social Media Presence

With social media thriving as much as it does in today’s world, keeping in touch with her accounts can break your heart. You may fall into deep thoughts about her every time you see a new post from her.

Maybe blocking her is not your thing. Especially if the relationship did end on a good note, you may not feel inclined to erase her from every platform. Still, seeing her can be upsetting.

Seeing her on social media can cause a longing to be with her in that moment. If she posts herself doing something fun, you may wish you were there to be with her.

11. Reminiscing

Another very common reason you miss her so much is that you cannot help but reminisce on the beautiful times the two of you had together. Long relationships can contain important milestones.

Perhaps you two had a favorite activity to do together, or maybe she put you onto a new hobby that makes you think about her. Reminiscing on the past is a common occurrence that can make you miss her.

You may also wonder what your life would be like right now if you two were still together. Thinking about new memories that could have been made is not going to help you get over her any easier.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why you can’t let him go, why you get infatuated so easily, and why you can’t get over him.


There are countless reasons you miss her so much. Even if you miss her just a little bit, there is a reason for that. She made a big enough impact on you to make you wish you could be with her again.

Breakups are rarely easy, and when they are not cordial, the regret can flow endlessly. It will take time to get over her, and you are going to catch yourself missing her from even the slightest memories.


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