Why Are Women So Picky? (13 Reasons Why)

Photo of author
Isabelle O'Gallagher

Isabelle O'Gallagher is a personal development and relationship expert who has consulted for some of the biggest companies in America.

There are countless reasons why women are pickier than men regarding dating. Perhaps, women are more selective in their choice of partners.

Whatever the reason, it’s clear that women face more significant challenges in finding compatible partners than men. This article explains 13 reasons why women are so picky.

Why Are Women So Picky?

1. Evolution

There are many theories about why women are picky when finding a mate. Evolution may have a lot to do with it.

Some say evolutionary biology has taught women to be choosy because they want the best chance of raising healthy children who survive and reproduce.

 Others argue that there is no single reason for why women are picky, but rather a variety of reasons, including social conditioning, hormonal fluctuations, and differing interests.

 In any case, picking the right partner can be difficult for both men and women, but women tend to be pickier.

2. Financial Stability

Women are often picky regarding financial stability because they want someone who will provide safety and a financially stable life.

Women also tend to be more risk averse than men. This means that they are often reluctant to take risks with their money. 

Women are picky because they are looking for a good provider, which relates back to evolutionary reasons.

They want to raise a family and provide for children with a partner who can give their family a home and a good life.

3. Emotional Maturity

There are many different reasons why some women are pickier than others. One reason might be emotional maturity.

Emotionally mature women will be pickier because they are looking for someone who meets their maturity level and their standards.

Mature women know exactly what they want in a partner. Emotional maturity offers better communication in a relationship.

It’s hard to find guys who are emotionally mature and available. So women must be selective and get to know a man’s emotional maturity level before committing.

Read More:  Why Is My Mom So Strict? (11 Reasons Why)

4. Self-Awareness

There are a few reasons why women may be more selective regarding dating. One reason is that women are more self-aware than men. 

This means that they are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. As a result, women are more likely to take the time to find someone compatible with them. 

They also tend to be more sensitive than men, making them more hesitant to take risks in relationships.

Women may also be wary of online dating because they know that it can be challenging to determine whether someone is honest or not.

Men often have less conscience about who they are communicating with online, making it easier for them to meet people offline.

Self-awareness will make a woman be more picky because she understands herself and her needs.

5. Influence From Friends

It’s hard not to be influenced by the thoughts and opinions of our friends, and women tend to be influenced by their closest friends.

Women have been socialized to be choosy. Throughout their lives, they’ve been taught that they shouldn’t settle for anything less but what they want.

A woman’s friends are her support system. Friends give input on who she sees, so she will be picky to please her friends.

6. Influence From Family

There are many reasons why women may be picky regarding dating. Some of the reasons include how family members treat women and how women are socialized.

One of the most important factors influencing women in dating is how their family members treat them.

 If a woman’s family is abusive or neglectful, she may be reluctant to date someone who is also abusive or neglectful.

Similarly, if a woman’s family is supportive and nurturing, she may be more likely to date someone who matches this pattern.

On the other hand, if a woman’s family does not positively impact her dating life, she may become more selective in her search for a partner.

Read More:  Why Won’t He Marry Me After 10 Years? (9 Reasons Why)

7. High Standards

High Standards

Women can be picky because they have high standards. Many women have been raised to have high standards for themselves and others.

This can make them difficult to please, especially if they feel that someone is not meeting their expectations.

8. Tired Of Repeating Patterns

Women get picky when they are tired of repeating old patterns in relationships. As a result, women often pursue happiness in their relationships more than men do.

Women are picky because they often need more time to get to know someone before they are willing to commit.

Women often have a better intuition when it comes to relationships. So if they see any red flags, they will be incredibly picky not to repeat the old patterns of the past. 

9. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder 

A woman might be picky because she has ADHD. This disorder is characterized by problems with focus, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. 

As a result, they may also have problems regulating their emotions, leading to problems maintaining relationships.

A woman might be picky because she is looking for someone who understands her issues. She wants to be accepted.

Women with ADHD feel more deeply and are more passionate than men. This means they are more likely to be attracted to someone passionate.

10. Insecurities

Women are notoriously picky when it comes to choosing a partner. This can be attributed to a number of factors, including a woman’s insecurity and low self-esteem.

Women are so picky because we are more likely than men to be insecure about our looks. 

Women have historically been judged on their looks more than men leading to insecurity about looks. A woman might be waiting for a guy that makes her feel secure.

11. Learning What She Likes

A woman might be picky because she is still learning what she likes. She is learning more about herself and her needs.

Read More:  Why Do People Steal? (13 Reasons Why)

In learning about herself, a woman will be pickier as she realizes what she likes and doesn’t like in a partner.

A woman might be picky if she is feeling uncomfortable in any way. She is still trying to figure out her likes and dislikes.

12. Looking For Connection

Women are often picky about the people they choose to associate with. This can be due to several factors, including our innate desire for connection.

Connection is one of the key elements that make us feel good. Humans are social animals, and a sense of connection is essential for our well-being.

Women are looking for more than just friendship from their connections. They want someone who will share their deepest desires and vulnerabilities with them.

13. Unrealistic Expectations

Finally, a woman might be picky because she’s waiting for a fairy tale life. Picky women can have unrealistic expectations.

She may think she’s waiting on her knight in shining armor to rescue her, but because of her pickiness, he never comes.

Women are often picky because they have set their expectations too high and are waiting for a partner that doesn’t exist.

To learn more, you can also read our posts on why women are so shallow, why women are so beautiful, and why girls are so cute.


There is no one answer to this question. Women are picky for several reasons, and no two are alike. They each have their reasons and experiences. 

Whatever the case, there is likely an underlying reason for her to be so picky. These reasons explain why women are so picky.


Leave a Comment